thE NeW NaP TiME

Nap time for Miss Madelynn has long gone. When she turned 2, her naps became few and far between. There was a time last summer when the only days I could get her to nap was on the car ride home from our beloved Teacher Cindy's swimming lessons. Then we moved into a nap phase that I re-named "Crap Time". (I don't usually use that kind of language, but those of you who know about this particular phase would agree that I have earned the right to use it...just this once:-). The good thing about phases (at least this one) is that they don't last forever. We finally settled on "Quiet Time"...which has worked fairly well until the last couple of weeks. No amount of pleading, bargaining, threatening, or disciplining was working. Something needed to change--had to change, or both of us would go crazy. And today I finally figured out what it was...it was me.

This last week has been extremely tiring and challenging. Madelynn came down with a bad cold and has been up every night for at least an hour. On top of that, Lila was waking up 2-3 times a night. In other words, I wasn't getting much sleep. I had decided to exchange Quiet Time for a movie since (while Madelynn was sick) I knew it would be a losing battle. Yesterday I tried to reinstate Quiet Time and it ended in disaster--tears and tempers flying on both ends. My heart sunk as I knew I was losing Quiet Time, too. I sought encouragement and creative ideas from my mom (as I often do;-), but something deep in my heart told me that I already knew what I needed to do. Surrender. Not the kind of surrender that gives the child control over the situation. This was something much deeper than that. I had to let go of what I wanted to do during that 1 hour of Quiet Time so that I could see what Madelynn needed...Mommy Time. I used to wonder why Madelynn was so darn stubborn. Now I realize that I needed to take a good long look in the mirror. I have been so intent on keeping the Nap Time tradition that I could not (or would not) see what really needed to happen instead.

So today instead of preparing for another battle, I spread a blanket on Madelynn's floor. I set our pillows side by side. I put out books and covered us with a blankie. And without question my daughter snuggled next to me and listened intently as I read. When I finished the story I told Madelynn that I was going to close my eyes for a minute. She laid still next to me for a moment and then quietly sat up, tucked the blanket around me, and gently stroked my face with her little hand. It was by far the best Nap Time ever. It was "Mommy and Daughter Time."